she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George