flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
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I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
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Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done