please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
