Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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