we have officially lost it.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
