What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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