The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
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I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
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If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.