Porn is love you can see.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
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Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
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and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.