Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?

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  (512): You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that? http://tfl.nu/amhf
  Replies (16) Good night (3718) Bad night (985)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.

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  (515): Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy. http://tfl.nu/x9uw
  Replies (50) Good night (9903) Bad night (2350)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I sold my books for weed money!

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Finals don't start for a week...

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  (732): I sold my books for weed money! (302): Finals don't start for a week... http://tfl.nu/onx1
  Replies (19) Good night (4112) Bad night (2563)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.

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  (860): Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message. http://tfl.nu/jwe9
  Replies (19) Good night (9579) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.

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  (219): He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot. http://tfl.nu/xkom
  Replies (4) Good night (2639) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.

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  (717): i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego. http://tfl.nu/vgwh
  Replies (20) Good night (4640) Bad night (1225)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?

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  (989): Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics? http://tfl.nu/kwmb
  Replies (10) Good night (2898) Bad night (707)
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  (805): View more from California

  we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard

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  (805): we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard http://tfl.nu/fmkh
  Replies (4) Good night (1762) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge

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  (774): I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge http://tfl.nu/5u98
  Replies (6) Good night (1140) Bad night (482)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point

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  (205): I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point http://tfl.nu/73b4
  Replies (15) Good night (657) Bad night (2247)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.

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  (248): We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management. http://tfl.nu/hzvj
  Replies (4) Good night (1284) Bad night (458)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.

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  (304): Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed. http://tfl.nu/uiwu
  Replies (4) Good night (1041) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.

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  (812): I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle. http://tfl.nu/j0rx
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.

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  (717): Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward. http://tfl.nu/kv4q
  Replies (3) Good night (510) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.

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  (865): Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night. http://tfl.nu/toib
  Replies (0) Good night (292) Bad night (474)

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