Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself

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(612): I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself http://tfl.nu/0tce

Replies (6) Good night (637) Bad night (2782)
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(817): View more from Texas

The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.

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(817): The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down. http://tfl.nu/fg57

Replies (19) Good night (7086) Bad night (782)
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(512): View more from Texas

After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.

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(512): After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game. http://tfl.nu/rksq

Replies (8) Good night (3511) Bad night (1125)
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(216): View more from Ohio

ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.

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(216): ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time. http://tfl.nu/5061

Replies (6) Good night (1104) Bad night (4176)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.

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(843): i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding. http://tfl.nu/yb0x

Replies (15) Good night (1302) Bad night (3400)
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(703): View more from Virginia

the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression

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(703): the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression http://tfl.nu/ti0p

Replies (30) Good night (1218) Bad night (3783)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.

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(402): I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise. http://tfl.nu/i6qg

Replies (6) Good night (3290) Bad night (926)
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(707): View more from California

Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.

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(707): Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive. http://tfl.nu/ly82

Replies (6) Good night (3183) Bad night (1029)
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(661): View more from California

His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.

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(661): His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that. http://tfl.nu/b2u0

Replies (14) Good night (764) Bad night (3211)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.

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(703): I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful. http://tfl.nu/9vwb

Replies (1) Good night (1073) Bad night (806)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint

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(519): He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint http://tfl.nu/uh8l

Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (380)
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(845): View more from New York

I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings

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(845): I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings http://tfl.nu/ny97

Replies (12) Good night (808) Bad night (944)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.

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(262): In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise. http://tfl.nu/9a8z

Replies (5) Good night (465) Bad night (475)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.

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(860): smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells. http://tfl.nu/aysq

Replies (4) Good night (326) Bad night (460)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.

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(651): Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up. http://tfl.nu/p8h2

Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (236)

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