Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...

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  (202): if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess... http://tfl.nu/v82v
  Replies (10) Good night (1366) Bad night (2892)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.

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  (713): All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/461a
  Replies (32) Good night (1643) Bad night (2669)
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  (310): View more from California

  My entire life is one complicated drinking game

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  (310): My entire life is one complicated drinking game http://tfl.nu/hoza
  Replies (19) Good night (4308) Bad night (843)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.

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  (330): Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley. http://tfl.nu/14i4
  Replies (16) Good night (1266) Bad night (5285)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?

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  (701): does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat? http://tfl.nu/hd1u
  Replies (56) Good night (7144) Bad night (2257)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with

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  (973): filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with http://tfl.nu/n2jg
  Replies (11) Good night (2112) Bad night (994)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13

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  (781): after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13 http://tfl.nu/mex2
  Replies (7) Good night (1388) Bad night (2632)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.

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  (301): I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked. http://tfl.nu/v26w
  Replies (13) Good night (3565) Bad night (1098)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.

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  (832): Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail. http://tfl.nu/wcht
  Replies (4) Good night (1981) Bad night (688)
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  (661): View more from California

  First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.

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  (661): First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl. http://tfl.nu/e3wo
  Replies (11) Good night (859) Bad night (1471)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...

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  (507): I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though... http://tfl.nu/ukj5
  Replies (5) Good night (1382) Bad night (518)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.

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  (405): ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction. http://tfl.nu/wfsg
  Replies (1) Good night (288) Bad night (546)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking

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  (402): I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking http://tfl.nu/ygys
  Replies (0) Good night (745) Bad night (448)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?

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  (989): saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right? http://tfl.nu/f0vf
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (216)
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  (447): View more from

  Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me

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  (447): Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me http://tfl.nu/h1iu
  Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (355)

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