Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sorry about my life...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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