If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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