I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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