Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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