I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
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Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize