I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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