That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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