A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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