so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
