make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
