I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
