there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
