Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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