did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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