I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If that was your dad, he is hot
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool