i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...