Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  what

  (720): View more from Colorado

  nvm

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  (720): i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes. (864): what (720): nvm http://tfl.nu/ym3t
  Replies (2) Good night (849) Bad night (977)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?

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  (314): rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places? http://tfl.nu/i464
  Replies (39) Good night (6317) Bad night (791)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.

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  (215): he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out. http://tfl.nu/lwob
  Replies (15) Good night (1060) Bad night (3567)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...

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  (469): i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine... http://tfl.nu/msgo
  Replies (34) Good night (13176) Bad night (1117)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room

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  (403): I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room http://tfl.nu/da0x
  Replies (156) Good night (5651) Bad night (864)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.

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  (256): I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly. http://tfl.nu/2jju
  Replies (9) Good night (2657) Bad night (1024)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  And I meant every ounce of it.

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  (978): You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands. (864): And I meant every ounce of it. http://tfl.nu/062o
  Replies (7) Good night (1426) Bad night (2330)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism

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  (856): She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism http://tfl.nu/a0zc
  Replies (16) Good night (1622) Bad night (954)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.

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  (732): I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour. http://tfl.nu/7icu
  Replies (7) Good night (1500) Bad night (955)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?

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  (205): How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people? http://tfl.nu/uhl3
  Replies (5) Good night (2418) Bad night (670)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you want cuervo gold or silver?

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  (847): Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight? (262): Do you want cuervo gold or silver? http://tfl.nu/7twk
  Replies (11) Good night (3364) Bad night (752)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.

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  (618): His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark. http://tfl.nu/bjsg
  Replies (9) Good night (1310) Bad night (1479)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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  (406): I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open http://tfl.nu/p54l
  Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (361)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.

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  (479): But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups. http://tfl.nu/j3mw
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (356)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.

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  (920): Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick. http://tfl.nu/e29r
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (545)

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