You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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