She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
