the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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