and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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