Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
