check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.