I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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