thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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