oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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