hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
