Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
