Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
