So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This baby is an asshole
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
