do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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