You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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