I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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