I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
