i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
