It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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