I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
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All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
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This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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