how can u be prego again
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
