I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
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just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
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I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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