you mean i was at the winter classic?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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