Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?

  (325): View more from Texas

  Because you touch yourself at night.

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  (480): Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working? (325): Because you touch yourself at night. http://tfl.nu/lm5u
  Replies (14) Good night (2998) Bad night (714)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since

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  (847): he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since http://tfl.nu/tbwd
  Replies (13) Good night (969) Bad night (3442) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?

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  (862): so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge? http://tfl.nu/lcjy
  Replies (10) Good night (656) Bad night (3099) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?

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  (443): do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick? http://tfl.nu/6riv
  Replies (46) Good night (3973) Bad night (1141) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i dont even know how to be here

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  (973): i dont even know how to be here http://tfl.nu/mwy9
  Replies (34) Good night (5414) Bad night (1391) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.

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  (630): Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila. http://tfl.nu/cfz3
  Replies (26) Good night (4985) Bad night (1859) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.

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  (215): She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her. http://tfl.nu/ocgj
  Replies (9) Good night (3528) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.

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  (248): Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it. http://tfl.nu/o1jt
  Replies (8) Good night (3879) Bad night (1054) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.

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  (701): Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore. http://tfl.nu/9hf8
  Replies (5) Good night (1736) Bad night (485)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!

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  (203): I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?! http://tfl.nu/b8ik
  Replies (11) Good night (1115) Bad night (737)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me

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  (770): Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me http://tfl.nu/jae3
  Replies (5) Good night (498) Bad night (1308) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"

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  (724): oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis" http://tfl.nu/2s94
  Replies (10) Good night (1105) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I stand by it.

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  (507): You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her" (815): I stand by it. http://tfl.nu/atfq
  Replies (5) Good night (1521) Bad night (304)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.

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  (561): Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences. http://tfl.nu/x85v
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (789)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.

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  (484): THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt. http://tfl.nu/dqcw
  Replies (5) Good night (397) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt

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