Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts