the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
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i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.