dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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