i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
