Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
