I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize