Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
