there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
