wrigley field is MILF paradise
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
