the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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