just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
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just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
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my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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