the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
