and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
