tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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