i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
