I wanna passion pit in your ass
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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